The ability for us to have meaningful grandfather-experiences
depends on a number of factors, not the least of which is whether
the grandfathers are still living. Often children live great
distances from their grandfathers and although they may have the
occasional opportunities to bond during holidays and family
reunions, these opportunities do not allow sufficient time to
establish lasting bonds with their grandparents.
This was largely the case for my children. Both Robyn and
Brian were born in Victoria, BC which is about an hours drive from
Nanaimo, BC where their mother's parents lived. However when Robyn
was only 18 months old and Brian was a newborn we moved across
country to Halifax, Nova Scotia in 1983. Although this was
closer to my parents who lived in Owen Sound, Ontario, it was still
over 2000 kms away which prevented the kids from forming lasting
relationships with their paternal grandparents.
In 1986 we moved
to Ottawa which made it possible to visit my parents during holidays
and special occasions. I recall on one of those occasions when
Brian was about 6 my father attempted to share his love of
woodworking with his grandson. They both went off to his workshop
where we anticipated Brian would build something interesting.
About 2 hours later they emerged with my father holding a wooden
Christmas tree saying: "Look what Brian made". After
which Brian immediately complained; "I only got to paint it"
Understanding how he felt, since I had many similar experiences
when I was young, I sympathetically responded; "You got to do
more than I did when I was your age."
>
Cuddling Session
with Grandpa Hawkes
Many
Christmases with Grandpa Hawkes
Great
Grandma and Grandpa Hawkes
Grandpa Hutton
Things changed in 1990 when we moved back to Victoria when Robyn
was 8 and Brian was 7. Our proximity to their Grandpa and
Grandma Hawkes enabled us to spend many weekends as well as holidays
with them in Nanaimo. As well they often traveled down to
Victoria to see us. A combination of their age and our close
proximity created the ideal opportunity for Robyn and Brian to
develop lasting relationships with both of their grandparents.
Fortunately we lived in Victoria for sixteen years so they got to
spend most of their developing years, from 7-8 to their early 20s
with their grandfather in their lives. As well their
grandfather got to see them develop from small children into young
adults which I know was something he very much enjoyed.
Unfortunately for me I would have to live until my mid-nineties in
order to replicate this grandfather experience enjoyed by Stanley
Hawkes. And if I do manage to out live my ancestors I'm not sure I
would be nimble enough to help my grandson change the oil in his
first car at 87.
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)